


You made flowers grow in my lungs and although they are beautiful, I cannot breathe.

by carpethefanfics



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Break Up, Denial, Emotional Upheavel, F/M, In Love, Reference to NSFW, Trauma, brief mention of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 00:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpethefanfics/pseuds/carpethefanfics
Summary: "Sitting in an empty classroom with an unopened bottle between her knees and her head hanging low. That’s how he finds her."





	You made flowers grow in my lungs and although they are beautiful, I cannot breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> I have been on quite the hiatus my friends but I was recently inspired to write for my favourite pairing, one I have never written for before. 
> 
> Andromeda and Ted.
> 
> Enjoy.

  * Sitting in an empty classroom with an unopened bottle between her knees and her head hanging low
  * That’s how he finds her
  * That’s where he knew she would be after all this time
  * After all the space
  * Her eyes are catatonic
  * But her lips are spice
  * All teeth and tongue and clashing against him suddenly
  * There’s nothing supple or soft left inside her 
  * She’s become greedy and angry and her hands don’t feel the same
  * They’re tearing at him
  * Her nails digging into exposed skin
  * _Andy_
  * It’s what he’s saying
  * What he’s breathing into her mouth
  * But he doesn’t know if he actually wants her to
  * Or if he can pull away
  * They haven’t been like this in months
  * Haven’t held each other in months
  * He’s never met anyone more intoxicating than her
  * Like a drug
  * More like a weapon
  * Something that keeps him tied up and pinned down and never able to move
  * He needs her to be the one
  * Because he can’t be back here, not again
  * Can’t let himself get lost in this 
  * She ripped his heart from his chest
  * Spit hate and laughed
  * _Stop following me like a mongrel_
  * _There’s nothing for you here_
  * He’d never seen her be the heiress she was born to be until then
  * Dark and sunken
  * And even though he knew it was a show
  * For Bella, for Cissa
  * For the Lestranges and Averys and Dolohovs standing with prying eyes
  * It hurt
  * He didn’t know how true it was that when his friends told him girls like her could destroy you
  * She had nearly
  * Just as she seemed to be destroying herself
  * That mask he slipped under crawled back into place the moment the words slipped from his lips and she didn’t say them back
  * She became what they wanted her to be
  * _Andy please_
  * She pauses
  * Her grip tightening
  * _Why can’t you just let this go Ted?_
  * _One time_
  * _Please?_
  * She’s breathless
  * And he can still feel where her teeth and tongue had been on him moments before
  * Ravishing him like some prize
  * Something you keep on your mantle to fondly remember
  * She was pushing the remnants of what she had been with him inside of him 
  * That way she would never be  **Andy** again
  * She could just be Andromeda Black
  * … or Rosier or Dolohov or Lestrange
  * She could produce heirs 
  * Keep her mother’s hands off her throat and her father’s cold stare away from prickling her skin
  * In another time he knows he could give in for that
  * To let her have what she thinks she so desperately wants but won’t ever need
  * Let the whims of the beautiful girl with the beautiful eyes have everything 
  * **But**
  * _I can’t do this_
  * _I don’t want this… not like this_
  * Everything good and wonderful and so very Andy has been bottled up inside her
  * She pulls back
  * Once they had so comfortably melded together
  * Fingers intertwined, bodies flush, lips brushing against skin
  * He had barely even mapped the planes of her ribs and the freckles on her shoulders before she was gone
  * She pulls back
  * _Why can’t you just let this be?_
  * His eyebrows pull together
  * _Isn’t it simple?_
  * He can see the look in her eyes begging him not to say it again
  * _Because I love you_
  * Her back is to him now
  * Her shoulders locked
  * _I love you Andy_
  * _I don’t want you just one more time  
_
  * She rolls her shoulders back
  * Because not now
  * Not today
  * She turns to face him
  * The walls beneath her skin climbing higher and higher
  * She knows she can be mean, lethal
  * Her mother’s daughter
  * She has to turn everything to ash now
  * She has to stop the ache that has shredded the inside of her since the day she saw him
  * She boxes them up neat and tidy in the traps and folds of her mind
  * _Here lies Edward Tonks,_ the box will read
  * _Lost love, forever unrequited_
  * Even if it is a lie
  * Even if the feeling of his hand wrapped around her wrist right now may kill her
  * _This was a mistake_
  * _We were …_
  * _We are a mistake_
  * She can hear how thickly he swallows
  * She can’t bear to tear her eyes from him
  * She knows if she does the contents of her stomach will spill all over the floor
  * He can never know
  * Not how much she regrets him tearing his hand from her wrist
  * Or how prepared she was to drown the bottle that was between her knees as he left
  * Because no
  * It will not read  _Here lies Edward Tonks_
  * It will say
  * _Here lies Andromeda Black_
  * _Endless gaping black hole_
  * _A true Black  
_
  * _Destined to spend her life in the alternate universe in her mind_
  * [Destined to walk out into the ocean alone  
](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Freadwildness.com%2F11%2Fchatti-gone&t=ZDdiOGEwNTQ4ZmVmYTU5YmE0NGI2YWI3ODlmZTQwMDNiOGYzODNhNSxtN0xDS1hwOA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aw5oCsqwF2bltX5QrV9XWhA&p=http%3A%2F%2Fcarpethefanfics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F172317791002%2Fyou-made-flowers-grow-in-my-lungs-and-although)
  * [Not to drown](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Freadwildness.com%2F11%2Fchatti-gone&t=ZDdiOGEwNTQ4ZmVmYTU5YmE0NGI2YWI3ODlmZTQwMDNiOGYzODNhNSxtN0xDS1hwOA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aw5oCsqwF2bltX5QrV9XWhA&p=http%3A%2F%2Fcarpethefanfics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F172317791002%2Fyou-made-flowers-grow-in-my-lungs-and-although)
  * [But to be held by something reluctant to let go](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Freadwildness.com%2F11%2Fchatti-gone&t=ZDdiOGEwNTQ4ZmVmYTU5YmE0NGI2YWI3ODlmZTQwMDNiOGYzODNhNSxtN0xDS1hwOA%3D%3D&b=t%3Aw5oCsqwF2bltX5QrV9XWhA&p=http%3A%2F%2Fcarpethefanfics.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F172317791002%2Fyou-made-flowers-grow-in-my-lungs-and-although)



**Author's Note:**

> http://carpethefanfics.tumblr.com/post/172317791002/you-made-flowers-grow-in-my-lungs-and-although


End file.
